This is What Breaks My Heart

what breaks my heart

I am currently doing a study of Nehemiah with a small group at my church. This study is a part of Kelly Minter’s living room series. It is appropriately subtitled, “A Heart that Can Break”.

Through this study I have been praying through and asking God questions such as “What is your will for me?”, “What burdens have you placed upon my heart?”, and “For what does my heart break?”.

In the first week of the study I found myself in tears over wanting to do more for God. Wanting to do more for the world. And wanting to do more for my community.

I spent a lot of time in prayer crying out for God to show me what it was He had for me to do.

His response???

His will for me is to obediently serve my husband and my children in our home.

He wills that I serve them obediently and contentedly, without asking for more.

He desires me to be faithful to the work that He has given me to do right now.

God has given me a loving husband, who is the spiritual leader in our home. He is the head of our family. He has been called to serve as a chaplain in our countries Army and I am to serve and support him.

God has given me four amazing children. I love them so very much. They need me to teach and disciple them in His ways. They are my first ministry…my RIGHT NOW ministry.

God has blessed us with a wonderful home. He is calling me to be busy within our home, creating a place of peace and rest for our entire family.

It is so tempting to want more, to want to make a name for myself.

It is so easy to be tempted into thinking that what we’re doing as wives, mothers, and homemakers isn’t enough.

We then seek out other ministries, other callings and toss aside the ministry and calling that God has given us.

This is what breaks my heart.

I have seen far too many homes and marriages crumble as wives and mothers forsake their calling to support their husbands, minister to their children and care for their homes. We’re often forsaking God’s will for us to do something “better” for Him. Satan is so cunning to work in this way. He distracts us through our desires to do good.

Homeschooling can become a distraction.

Blogging can become a distraction.

Social media can become a distraction.

Other ministries can become a distraction.

Leading Bible Studies can become a distraction.

Crafting can become a distraction.

Relationships can become a distraction.

I pray that in writing this I don’t come across as judgmental and pious.

I struggle with the same. I struggle with wanting to do great things for God and not seeing that He has given me a purpose right where I am.

His desire is for me to faithfully serve Him where He has placed me.

His desire is for me to stop questioning Him, questioning my role as a wife, a mother and a homemaker.

His desire is for me to be content with this…fully content in serving Him in my home.

God’s word is clear that as young women, our first place of service to Him is in our homes. He asked that older women train younger women to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of god may not be reviled.” Titus 2:5

My prayer that I would constantly remember that God has given me a calling, a special ordained ministry.

My prayer is that I would obediently, faithfully, and contentedly serve Him in loving, supporting, and being submissive to my husband, ministering, teaching and loving my children, and working in my home.

The same prayer that I pray for me, I offer up for you as well that we may all live out the calling that God has given to us.



  1. says

    I struggle with this so much! And I can’t even say that I have a heart for other ministries. I just still struggle so much with my own selfishness. I know that this is the place I’m supposed to be. My path to holiness is right here in my home. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Ginny W. says

    Thank you for writing this! I need to spend more time trusting instead of searching for more. It’s hard to do in this culture of “more”. It is a daily struggle for me. Glad to know we are not alone!

  3. Ashley says

    Wow, I needed this reading! I am struggling emotionally as my husband, also an Army Chaplain, prepares to deploy. I know this is my husband’s calling and I have supported him, but not 100%. We have been fortunate to never face a deployment in the many years he has been with they Army. I am struggling trying to figure out how I will handle everything and give my 100% to my kids while he is gone!

  4. Dawn Blackwell says

    Thanks so much for this post. I also did that study last fall and felt a bit unsure of my calling. Your words really spoke to me. I think I had come to the same conclusion, but you saying it was affirming.