As I mentioned before I am spending a couple nights away from home this weekend on a personal retreat.
This is something that my husband encouraged me to do. I was resistant to the idea at first.
It felt selfish.
To take time alone for myself.
But he countered that it wasn’t selfish. It was a time for me to “reset”.
And I needed it.
All week long he kept reminding me to make reservations and encouraging me to take this time.
So, on Wednesday afternoon I called for lodging at the new Ramstein Inn attached to a brand new shopping center on the Air Force base and I got a perfect room for two nights away.
Yesterday afternoon I began packing and anxiously looking forward to this time.
Then as I packed I felt pangs of guilt as my four year old said, “I want a Mommy here. Don’t go…that’s sad.” And even more as my two year old cried and clung to me as I walked out the door. I’ve never ever been away from him for more than a couple of hours. Ever.
I thought about how terrible must have felt for my husband as he left for his deployments. The couple of days I am away cannot compare with the year and with the fourteen month deployments he had away from me and the children. It really helped me to see just a glimpse of what he feels.
As I drove to the hotel I kept thinking that all it would take is one phone call or one word of discouragement from my husband and I would immediately turn around and go back home.
When I checked-in and walked into the hotel room, I felt a bit lost. What do I do with so much time? I really could not wrap my mind around not having any responsibilities for the entire next day.
I spent my first night just clearing my mind and getting used to being alone. I didn’t like the silence at first, so I turned the television on, but I wasn’t comfortable with the noise either. I spent my time preparing Friday Favorites and editing pictures until it was time for bed.
I went to bed without setting an alarm clock. I was going to allow myself to sleep in.
And I did.
Until 7:30…yes, that’s sleeping in for me! I actually woke up at 5:30 and forced myself go back to sleep.
I read a little and lounged a bit and read my Bible some.
Then I lazily took a shower and meandered downstairs to get lunch and shopped for a friend’s baby shower.
When I came back to my room I was ready to seek real solitude.
I turned on my favorite worship music and took out my Bible.
I spent time reading, studying, writing, seeking, praying, confessing, repenting, praising, thanking, and worshipping.
And I feel renewed.
My spirit needed this.
My heart needed this.
My soul needed this.
I now feel peace where there was worry and anxiety.
You see, I was becoming overwhelmed with life, with plans, with daily responsibilities, with things that I have absolutely no control over. I took time today to hand those things over to my God who does have control over every single one of them.
I feel confident that at the end of this weekend, when I make my way home tomorrow morning, I will be ready.
Ready to be a better wife.
Ready to be a better mother.
Ready to be a better homemaker.
Ready to be a better friend.
So, no, it wasn’t selfish to take this time away to go on a personal retreat. This wasn’t a selfish time of pampering my worldly self. It was a pampering of my spirit.
A renewal.
A revival.
A refocusing.
This was a time that is not only going to benefit me, but my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and maybe even you.
I read today in James 3:17
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
It is so hard for those things to be present within our hearts and maintained there without deliberate and focused time alone with God.
That’s what this was for me.
If you’ve never taken time to have a personal retreat, to experience real solitude, I would encourage you to do so. It has been a blessing to my soul.
The quote above is the quote of the week on Jill Savage‘s blog. Jill is an author and contributor to Hearts at Home. I’m reading her book Real Moms…Real Jesus: Meet the Friend Who Understands during my time away, too. I highly recommend this book to all moms seeking Jesus in their everyday lives at home.
And while I’m at it, another recommended resource is Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed
by Carolyn Mahaney. It is on my reading list right now. She discusses how we should plan our time and also talks about having personal retreats.
Since having this time of solitude is a finer thing for me, I’m linking to Finer Things Friday at Amy’s Finer Things. Be sure to visit her to see more of the “finer things” in life!
Heather says
I need to have a retreat like this!!! I need a time to recoup and get my thoughts together. I have never left my children and I know it would be hard but I think we need moments to ourselves to get it together.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..A Perfect Day =-.
Willma Fields says
I felt goose bumps when you said “I feel renewed”.
Stephanie says
This is so awesome, and kudos to your husband for encouraging you to do this! I plan on taking a mini retreat this week and can’t wait!
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like…. =-.
Hallee says
That is awesome. What an awesome story and what a loving husband you have to encourage this. I’m so happy that you feel rejuvenated.
.-= Hallee´s last blog ..And the Winner Is… =-.
Nancy M. says
I can’t imagine being away from the kids either. I am so glad you are feeling renewed and refreshed in the spirit!
.-= Nancy M.´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday =-.
Gregg says
I am now wondering if Hallee would like me to Daddy sit our trio while she takes a few days all to herself. I will come back on leave in January for three long weeks. I would love the time with just the kids and I wonder if Hallee would love the time without them. 😉
Thanks for the great post and thanks for the great blog. God Bless you and yours. –GB
Monica says
Gregg–I bet she would love it!!!
Liz@HoosierHomemade says
I’m so happy you had a good time. It would be great to get away.
I think I’ll look into the books you recommended, they sound just like what I need right now.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
~Liz
.-= Liz@HoosierHomemade´s last blog ..Pumpkin Cookies =-.
Ruth says
Sounds lovely! I get two evenings of solitude a week during the fall and I treasure them!
.-= Ruth´s last blog ..Finer Things Friday: Russian Sacred Music =-.
Amy @ Finer Things says
What a glorious weekend for you. Just in time to renew your spirit for all the moving tasks ahead!
.-= Amy @ Finer Things´s last blog ..Winners =-.
Shawn says
I am reading this post that was linked off of your Blissdom 2010 post… and just wanted to tell you how encouraged I am with both of these posts. Being an Army Chaplain’s wife is so busy, and I struggle with the quiet time, slowing down, and being still. May God help me carve out that special time. Bless you as you return home to your “true bliss”…
.-= Shawn´s last blog ..Keeping it real or Cupcake FAIL =-.