While away this weekend, there were two easy “get to know you” type of questions that I really had a hard time answering.
Over and over again, I felt myself feeling the need to explain myself more than the simple answer that these two questions required.
The first question was “Where are you from?”.
Seems simple enough, right? Well, you would think so, but for a military wife, this one stumped me time and time again.
I felt like a bad AFN (Armed Forces Network) commercial as I thought in my mind…
Do you mean where did I come here from?
Or do you mean where did I grow up?
Or do you mean where is the place I have lived the longest?
Or do you mean my legal state of residence?
I feel sorry for the poor unsuspecting women that asked me such a simple question and got a fumbling mess of words for an answer.
In the end my answer usually sounded a bit like this….“Well, I’m a military wife, so I’m kind of from all over, but I came here from Virginia.”
And that was just the best I could do.
The second question was equally as easy and, yes, still equally as hard for me to give a straight answer to.
And it was, “How many children do you have?”
When I answered three, I felt as if I was denying the baby growing inside of me.
And when I answered four, well, that felt a little odd, too.
In actuality, I am the mother to four children.
It’s just that I can only touch and feel the skin of three of them.
The one growing inside my bulging belly is just as much a child of mine as the other three are.
I love her with an indescribable love that only a mother can have.
I’m learning more about her each and every day as I can feel her moving, and I take in her image on the ultrasound pictures that we received two weeks ago.
She has a name, a personality, and she is a part of our family.
She is our fourth child.
I consider her mine.
Over the weekend, my answer to this question became, “I have three children at home and I’m expecting our fourth.”
But I’d kind of just like to proudly say, “I have four children.”
Have you ever struggled to answer “easy” questions as I have?
Catherine @ A Spirited Mind says
Where are you from was always a hard one for me, but it’s getting easier. My dad was in the Air Force, so by the time I was 25 and moved to this address I had lived in 19 places. We’ve lived in this house for five years and I have been itching to move for the last three years! When asked where I’m from I rattle off “I live in Indiana, but I grew up all over the US and overseas so I’m not really from anywhere but my family is mostly from North and South Carolina.” It’s a mouthful. But it feels wrong to say I’m from Indiana.
All that to say, I sympathize. 🙂
Tanya says
I struggle with the “where are you from” question, too. My answer usually depends on the person asking. I find it’s easier to tell people we live just outside NYC than to try to define a state. Then, of course, I have the people here who still sense a slight Midwestern accent. Most people here don’t know the difference between Indiana, Iowa and Idaho, so I always remember to add how far where I grew up is from Chicago, Detroit or Cleveland.
And my husband is a military brat, so his claim to confusion is greater. 🙂 His dad was in the Air Force. Before his retirement, they rarely lived anywhere longer than two years at a time.
.-= Tanya´s last blog ..Answered Prayers (aka: What would you do for a little pampering?) =-.
Teri Lynne says
I have the same dilemma with “Where are you from?”. I’m a preacher’s kid who was raised primarily in Oklahoma but went to college in Missouri (which is where my parents now live) but married an Alabama boy and consider his hometown mine as well. And I’ve lived here in Georgia where he is on staff for almost twice as long as I’ve lived anywhere in my life … so I never really know what to say either. (I don’t list a hometown on FB because of all of this!
.-= Teri Lynne´s last blog ..{BIG QUESTIONS} Why are they telling me that? =-.
Kathi says
Hard questions.
I always say I’m from my HOmetown (Brian and I grew up in the same little town outside Cincinnati). But my heart will always be at home in Ft.Bragg, where we spent our first few married years, learning to really love each other and parent our 2 little baby girls (seems so long ago).
As for your number of children…I always include baby. I’ve had 7 children since the day we found out Judah was coming. I will always have 7 children (atleast)…maybe that would be a good way to look at it.
.-= Kathi´s last blog ..A Week of Valentine’s Day, My Loves =-.
Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae says
Yes! “I have five but we’re expecting our sixth. No, I’m not pregnant. Um, we’re adopting. I don’t know when.” … Doesn’t mean I’m not “expecting”, though. Totally awkward.
.-= Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae´s last blog ..On Sisterhood and Africa =-.
Kelly says
I think both of your answers sound fine! I always wondered about that “how many children do you have” question when I was pregnant with our second. I used to say, “Two. One on the inside, and one on the outside!”
And be prepared. If you ever visit St. Louis, every native St. Louisan will skip right over the “where are you from” question, and ask “where did you go to high school?” It’s what we do!
Alison @ Hospitality Haven says
I also struggle with the “where are you from?” question! I was born/grew up in one place, but have lived in 3 other provinces since then! Such is life. 🙂
Amy @ Click Clack Mom says
I struggled with the first question as well. I don’t really feel like I am “from North Carolina” it’s just where we’re stationed now.
The question that was hardest for me was, “What kind of blog do you have?”
Should be easy to answer. But it’s not:)
.-= Amy @ Click Clack Mom´s last blog ..Final Blissdom Recap and Lessons Learned =-.
Jenny says
Every time someone asks where I’m from I just respond with “originally or most recently?”
How many children do you have is a tough question for me, too. I lost a baby a couple years ago – so in my heart, I am a mama to 4 (2 that I can hold onto, 1 in heaven and 1 in my tummy). But explaining that I am mama to that baby I lost is too much emotion for most people – so I stick with 3 most of the time.
Maggie Mae says
Proud metro-area New Yorkers always say New York and people think we’re from “the city” which is not so. If I say Long Island, another common answer, it assumes wherever I am that they know Long Island is part of NY. And even when I say Oceanside where I grew up and lived most of my life, people think Oceanside, California (NOT) until they hear the accent… a dead give away. Not sure the question ever really has an easy answer once you begin living an adult life.
Include the baby… absolutely! How could you not? I’d pat my tummy and say, “and baby makes 4!”
.-= Maggie Mae´s last blog ..Grab Your Peace As It Comes =-.
Jordan says
Gotta love the, “Where are you from question?” I never know how to answer that one either. Imagine being an “Army brat” like our husbands and kids…at least we have ONE place that we consider “home” and a place where our roots run deep.
.-= Jordan´s last blog ..2 And Type A =-.
Nancy M. says
I never would have thought those would be hard questions, either. Of course, I never gave them much thought. I think you did good with your answers!
.-= Nancy M.´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday (Well, Almost) =-.
Barb says
I love that AFN commercial, I always thought it was funny but it was something all of us military could relate too. I think you anwered just fine =)
Blessings!
.-= Barb´s last blog ..My Old Navy Steal Deal….. =-.
Sherry says
I remember that AFN commercial. Dh and I would both laugh as we are both former military brats, too, besides being military now.
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Frugal ways to show love to your children =-.