Yesterday, I wrote a post about the 5 Things I Love About Being a Mom. As I formed that post in my mind, I thought of how much becoming a mom has changed me. It has forced me to grow in so many ways that I probably could never have fathomed before.
Tonight I am writing with a heavy heart, grieving over the loss of baby Maddie. No, I have never met this sweet baby that beat all the odds just by surviving her premature birth in November of 2007.
Yesterday her mom, Heather Sphor, tweeted as she took her in to the doctor and then to the hospital for a cough.
Today, I read that Maddie went to heaven to be with Jesus.
During quiet time for my girls today, I spent some time reading their blog and crying.
This afternoon, I watched home videos from when my girls were babies with them. I remembered their own premature birth and thanked God for them as I enjoyed their company.
This evening and night, I held them a little closer as we ate dinner together and prepared for bed.
Before tucking my girls into bed tonight, we prayed together for Maddie and her grieving family.
Tonight as I listen to my children sleeping peacefully through open doors and a baby monitor sitting on my night stand, I thank God for their lives and I cannot stop the tears, the sadness, the questions, and the sickness in my stomach.
Becoming a mother has changed me tremendously.
It has given me a bond with all mothers. Mothers near and far, striving to do their best for their children, struggling through all the ups and downs of motherhood together.
Becoming a mother causes me to ache with a hurt unfathomly deep at the pain another mother feels at such a time. My mother’s heart aches at such pain and loss.
I don’t understand why these things happen. I doubt I ever will.
All I can do is pray for hurting moms like Heather Sphor and cherish the sweet children entrusted to me as I realize that there is no certainty in this life.
Maddie’s parents, Heather and Mike Sphor, have asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to March of Dimes in Maddie’s memory. The blogging and twitter communities have come together and already over $11,000 has been raised for the March of Dimes in honor of this precious baby.
Stephanie says
This is so sad. I have been trying to get on to the website all day but I can’t get it to load. I have a friend who recently lost her 4 year old two weeks after finding out he had cancer. It definitely makes you hold onto your children a little tighter. I hope this mom has the Lord, I don’t know how anyone could survive with out leaning on the Almighty!
Stephanie’s last blog post..We’re Going Lean
Stephanie says
We went through a health crisis with my son a few years ago, and it tore me up. But having my faith in God gave me so much peace and hope. I think I would have gone crazy if I had to go through it alone.
So you have twins! Wow! I am glad to hear they are healthy and happy! That must have been tough seeing those little babes in NICU.
Stephanie’s last blog post..We’re Going Lean
homegrownstrawberries says
I too cried for Maddie and her mother when I read about her death this afternoon. and I agree that being a mother has made me able to share the Joys and sorrows of others much more acutely.
homegrownstrawberries’s last blog post..The cowBoy