Every now and then life gets busy and am easily distracted by it.
The last few weeks have been so busy for us and honestly, I don’t know exactly why.
I like a quiet, orderly life.
I like peace and calm.
I like structure and routine.
Our summer schedule has included playgroup on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. Tuesdays are usually free except for a trip to the Commissary for groceries. Thursdays have included a “coffee break” at the indoor playground where we have playgroup. And on Fridays the girls and Will have spent the morning in daycare while I have time to myself to play and run errands that are just easier to do without them.
One goal that I have for the deployment is to get in better shape. Yes, I would like to lose a little bit of weight, but more than that I want to be healthier and get into better physical shape. So, I have began to spend nap time working out.
Last weekend I was tempted to add an addition to our otherwise settled schedule. The fitness center here has a “boot camp” program on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. Some of my friends are doing it and it really sounds like a lot of fun. I had plans to join in on Monday morning, but on Sunday night I began to rethink my purpose.
I am not a stay-at-home mom because I have to be.
This is the life I want.
This is the life I chose.
This is the life that I have been called to.
My purpose right now is not to do things even though I may enjoy or even really want to do them.
My purpose is not to socialize.
My purpose is not to travel Germany.
My purpose is not to spend all my time working out.
My purpose is not to minister to anyone except my children.
Yes, I can do those things, but they cannot take away from my purpose.
My purpose is to spend time with my children….time playing with them, reading to them, talking to them, and getting to know them collectively and individually.
My purpose is to teach my children….to teach them morals, to teach them to love one another, to teach them housework, and to teach them ABC’s and 1-2-3’s.
My purpose is to disciple my children….to discipline them to love God and to follow his commands.
My purpose is even to discipline my children…to teach and train them to obey their parents and the Lord.
I know that our daily or weekly schedule may change and fluctuate…in fact, I know we’ll go though some changes as the Fall approaches, but in all things I have to consider my purpose and stay focused on that.
Cluttering up our days would take away from time with my children, from teaching them, from discipling them, and even from disciplining them.
Staying focused is one of my constant struggles. I have to remind myself of these things over and over. Do you have the same struggle as a stay-at-home mom? If you are a working mom are your struggles the same as well?
What are your constant struggles?
Becoming Me says
I share these struggles and was both convicted and encouraged by your posts
Stacy Owings says
I am been thinking about these same issues. I am a working mom, to some degree by choice, and by other decisions (good or bad) by necessity. I have a really hard time with balance. My kids seem very happy and my husband often takes the role as the primary care giver because I travel on business so often. That doesn’t mean it does not hurt my feelings when my kids don’t seem sad to here I am heading out for a few days…Discipline can be a big problem. When I am away from my kids all day(s), do I really want to spend our quality time with discipline and redirection? Just being “fun” all the time is irresponsible parenting. Your post has me thinking.
Pat says
I love how you stepped back and reevaluated your plans. It is good that you decided what you wanted to focus on before you added something else. I tend to do that and overload myself. Then I spend so much time stressing over all the extra stuff that I make myself miserable. I hear some great ideas that I want to volunteer to help with and then get sucked into making major commitments due to this that not only am I miserable but so is my husband. Then the whole thing becomes a hassle and it just isn’t worth it. Now I am learning to think more about it before I do anything! I am trying to focus more on what my husband needs right now and how the purpose of this retirement was so we could spend more time together, not so I could volunteer for everything so we weren’t together.
Carol says
I have already shared my thoughts with you on this, but this is a great post and definitely makes you think. I, like you, try and find a balance and try and think about what it is that I am adding to my schedule/life before I do so. It is so easy to get involved with too much and then feel like you really aren’t doing a great job with any of the things that are most important to you because you are just too busy. I have prioritized what I want to become involved with and that is where I have decided to put all my energy. I should write my things down 🙂 Great post!
Josie Thames says
As a working mother who also has a full-time ministry in children’s choir, I struggle with balance. How do you balance family time with work and ministry, and also finding time for yourself? I feel really guilty a lot of the time because I don’t always focus on family the way I should, or keep house the way I should, because I spend so much time at work and directing the children’s choir. And what about time for myself? Somedays, it feels like “time to myself” is getting a shower in the mornings and taking potty breaks.
I’ve really got to seek God’s direction for balance.
Renaissance Man says
While visiting your site via WW the title of this post caught my attention.
How refreshing to encounter fellow “life travelers” who are not willing to settle for the day to day grind.
I have a blog where I share my experiences and thoughts regarding “thinking outside of the box” and not simply accepting as truth those things we have been taught are so.
I invite you to visit.
LifeatTheCircus says
Great post! I think we all struggle with balance. I applaud your stepping back to evaluate your priorities and keep the main thing, THE MAIN THING. Our lives can easily get cluttered with very good things. I have struggled with this in terms of volunteering to serve at church. Serving God at church is a good thing. I know the Lord wants me to do it, and I do, but before committing to adding anything extra I have to evaluate whether serving in that ministry is right for me right now at this stage.
These moments with our kids are so fleeting and so valuable. My oldest is going to start preschool in 2 weeks… it’s just 3 days a week for 2.5 hrs. I think it will be good for him and good for his little sisters and yet I am sad to say goodbye to this current stage we are in now. I’m sure you’ll see sappy blubbering posts on that in a few weeks!
Thanks Monica for a great post and cause for reflection.
Sarah says
WOW – so powerful. I really love reading your posts and they always seem to come at a time when I need just that exact bit of uplifting. I should print them out and carry them with me so that I can remember why I too am staying at home with my kids – it’s a struggle for me. While I was sick I was away from my computer for 10 days – I felt instantly better yesterday when I got to spend a few hours working on the newsletter that not a single member of my family outside of myself benefits from – so I struggle to find the right balance of spending quality time with the kids and doing things that I find so much energy & happiness from.