Many of you that read this are unfamiliar with the life of a military wife.
Some of you are very familiar with it, because you are living it yourself.
A friend sent me this description today and, with her permission, I am sharing it with you. I’m sharing it so that you may have a glimpse into my life and the lives of my friends….so that you may know what a military wife REALLY is.
What is a MILITARY Wife?
A Military wife can be tough to describe.
She is a southern belle
…a Northeastern Mets fan
…a California third generation recycler
…a Pacific Islander.
She is short or tall
…a tomboy
…a fashion diva
…a physician’s assistant
…a Republican
…a Democrat
A Military Wife is a career gal
…a home-schooler
…a scrap-booker
…an accomplished cellist
…an auto mechanic
What IS a Military Wife?
WHAT is a Military Wife?
What is a MILITARY Wife?
They may look different and each is wonderfully unique,
But this they have in common…
They have THIS IN COMMON…
…lots of moving–
…moving
…moving
…moving far from home
…moving two cars, three kids, and one dog—all riding with HER, of course
…moving sofas to basements because they won’t go in THIS house
…moving curtains that won’t fit
…moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours
…moving away from friends
…moving toward new friends
…moving her most important luggage; her trunk full of memories.
Often waiting–
…waiting
…waiting
…waiting for housing
…waiting for orders
…waiting for deployment
…waiting for reunion
…waiting for phone calls
…waiting for the new curtains to arrive
…waiting for him to come home for dinner—AGAIN!
They call her “military dependent”, but she knows better
…she can balance a checkbook
…handle the yard work
…fix a noisy toilet.
She is intimately familiar with drywall
…anchors,
…and toggle bolts.
She can file taxes…
…sell a house
…buy a car
…or set up a move—
…all with ONE Power of Attorney.
She welcomes neighbors that don’t welcome her.
Reinvents her career with every PCS.
Locates a house in the desert
…the arctic
…or the deep south
…and learns to call them all “home”.
She MAKES them all home.
She is fiercely IN-dependent.
Military Wives are somewhat hasty.
They leap into decorating
…leadership
…volunteering
…career alternatives
…churches
…and friendships.
They don’t have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.
Military Wives quickly learn to value each other.
They connect over coffee
…rely on the spouse-network
…and accept offers of friendship and favors
…and record addresses in pencil.
Military Wives have a common bond.
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands.
His commitment is unique.
He doesn’t have a job, he has a “mission”.
He can’t just decide to quit.
He’s on call for his country 24/7 but for you, he’s the most unreliable guy in town.
His language is foreign
…TDY
…PCS
…OPR
…ACC
…BDU.
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long-distance link to keep them informed
…the glue that holds them together.
Military Wife has her moments—
She wants to wring his neck
…dye his uniform pink
…and refuse to move to Siberia.
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days
…a travel brochure
…a long hot bath
…a pledge to the flag
…and a wedding picture.
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.
Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually is is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man
…who puts duty first
…who longs to deploy
…who salutes the flag
…and whose boots in the doorway remind her
That as long as he is her Military husband,
She will remain his Military Wife.
Ariel says
Thank you. Because behind every great man there is a great woman. For the things you put up with so that others can benefit. Thank your husband for me. For his service. His willingness to defend this great country. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Happy Mama says
Again thanks!! I have two brothers who have served..One is out of the service tho I think he would love to go back …and the other well he is still in In the Air force in Texas and he has a military wife.. and i have bunches of friends who are going to be Chaplain’s wives so thank you for the insight as to what they are going to be going through!
Rachel Childress says
As a military wife of 22 years, all I can say is that it is so true!! I loved this poem…I especially appreciated the fact about the curtains…as I am now trying to figure out what to do about my new set of quarters windows! Nothing I have fits, except for the kitchen! I do LOVE this military life and I am thanking God for giving me to a husband that loves his God, country and his family. Hooah!!
Carol says
Oh my gosh, this is so good! I am saving it 🙂 It brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for being a military wife and everything that entails. Thanks for sharing! Do you mind if I repost it to my blog?
Louise says
I’m here from Kelsey’s blog train … thanks for this reminder that we in this country owe so much not just to those actively serving in our military, but for the spouses and children who make so many sacrifices for them. It’s too easy to forget them!
LifeatTheCircus says
This brought tears to my eyes and assuming it is ok with you, I am forwarding a link to my SIL.. also an army wife. I know I have NO IDEA what it is like to be a military wife or mom. When my hubby works a long day (like 12+hrs) or goes on a business trip for 3-4 days, I am so exhausted and often emotional and I think to myself that is NO WHERE close to what you all go through.
Thank you for your sacrifices… for serving our Lord and our country by serving your family so faithfully.
Stacy Owings says
Oh my. I have been lurking on your blog for months since I found it through Josie Jones Thames.
How beautiful. I am still crying.
Stacy Rowell Owings
Charity says
Thank you for the tribute… My mom was a military wife yet she would recognize very few of these attributes in herself while most are visible to all… I have such tremendous respect and admiration to both the wife and the soldier alike…
If you’re reading this and you are either… thank you. You sacrifice tremendously on our behalf.
Andrea says
Too true :). I had no idea just what I was getting into when I met and married my husband. Some days I say :what was I thinking?”, but most I say “Thank you God for this opportunity”.
I especially hate the losing friends part, and the refurnishing the house part. It seems like you just get to know people, or get things as you like in the house..and you move.
Thanks for the post! 🙂
Erin says
Monica, that poem had me crying by the end! I have such respect for military men and military wives! God bless!!
Jennifer says
What a great post. I happened upon your blog today from your menu plan link. Although I don’t feel like I’ve gotten the full military wife experience, many of these things ring true for me. My husband and I met when he was stationed in Japan so our entire dating relationship was long distance. Just before we married he PCS’d to a non-deployable postition teaching ROTC and after 2 yrs there left active duty. We ended up moving to the opposite end of the country from our families. He’s now in the Alaska National Air Guard. so we’re able to settle here for as long as we want. I’ve been lucky to not have to deal with deployments, but I still have had a few separations and moves in there! Plus, it feels like a foreign country here! I’ve been trying to settle in and make friends but it’s been slow going this time. And we still have a few pieces of furniture in the basement!!
Thanks again for this post!
Tiffany says
I am 19 years old and i just got married to a navy man. I really do think this poem is so true. You all might think that its been too short for me to be married to know what to think but before i got married i was with him for two years so i know how it is also.. All you military wives can you comment on mine so i know about you guys too
Kim says
brought tears to my eyes because it is all true. duty first family second it is hard for a lot of people to understand including me sometime…especially when he comes home and tells me he volunteered to go to Iraq because he wants to do his part for our country. I do understand and I love him for it….it just scares me sometimes.