The Army has a tool that it uses after a training exercise called an AAR (after action review). Using this tool turns those training exercises into learning processes to find out why things happened rather than to judge successes and failures.
On one of the welcome home banners hanging outside the gate of our post is the statement “Welcome Home (name)! Deployment AAR: Your children are alive”.
While this statement is rather humorous, it is also a fairly accurate description of what we can feel like at the end of such a long deployment.
As I am reflecting on my own experiences throughout Keith’s deployment, the best description I can come up with is that I survived.
At the beginning of the deployment I had many goals for myself.
I had so many things that I wanted to do.
So many ways in which I wanted to grow.
The only goal I truly accomplished was to grow in my walk with Christ. It was the most important one, though. I learned quickly and early on that I had to depend on my relationship with Christ. It could not remain stagnant. Yes, there were days when I felt like a total and complete failure, but it was my dependance on Christ and my spiritual growth that got me through those times.
I started out trying to be and do everything.
I worked hard and strong.
Then several months into the what was supposed to a fifteen month deployment, I saw that I had to readjust my thinking. I had to take a second look at my goals.
Then I had one other goal besides my need to grow in my walk with Christ.
That one goal was to survive….to just survive each and every day.
Sometimes I was able to do more.
Other times I just thanked God as I got into bed at night that I made it through another day…..myself and the kids intact.
It is so important that we have goals for ourself, for our family, for our work and our home.
It is also important that we simplify and adjust those goals when life calls for it.
In reflecting on my need to adjust, I have come to one important conclusion…..
I need my husband by my side.
He is my very best friend, my accountability partner, my encourager, my motivator.
He comforts me when I am sad, lonely, and hurt.
He celebrates my victories and cheers me on to more.
God has so graciously given me someone to share my life with. Someone who is God’s perfect person for me.
Now that he is home my life feels more complete. I am starting to work on some of those other goals I had, with his encouragement and accountability.
We celebrated our ninth anniversary this week.
Nine years with my best friend.
On the morning of our anniversary we were able to get up early and spend time reading our Bibles and drinking coffee together for the first time in over fourteen months. There could have not been a more perfect start to that day.
The day ended with celebrating the homecoming of a friend’s husband and coming home to enjoy a quiet steak dinner with my own husband.
I am so thankful that I said yes to God’s perfect plan for my life.
It has included many trials….many struggles….many blessings….
And I, we, have survived them all by depending on God and trusting in Him as we grew.
Linda@cookingtipoftheday says
A beautiful post that couldn’t have been said better…. you were very smart to re-adjust your thinking… sometimes we “plan” to do far more than we should…. and therefore we aren’t able to fully enjoy and live the moment God has given us…. you are very wise…. and very blessed.
Linda@cookingtipoftheday’s last blog post..Recipe: German Potato Salad
Stephanie says
Congratulations on nine years together, especially given all of the trials that you have faced as a family. I used to be very impressed when people made it to 25 years together (OK I still am). In this age of quick marriages and even quicker, very public divorces, I celebrate as many of our friends’ anniversaries as I can. Living with someone else is HARD work, and it is impressive that anyone manages for more than a few weeks. One of the biggest factors I am seeing in so many of the marriages that work is GOD! You and Keith are such a good example of letting Him work in your lives.
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Nancy M. says
Such a sweet post! Happy Anniversary!!!
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homegrownstrawberries says
happy anniversary! What a gift God has given you in the chance to evaluated and see Him!
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erin says
Such a wonderful post, Monica. Your posts always encourage me!
Happy anniversary, by the way!
erin’s last blog post..A Great Breakfast Recipe
Carol says
Great post and so true! I am so glad everyone is back together! Thank-you for your friendship during the deployment and always….we did it :)! I couldn’t have done it without you!
Carol’s last blog post..Answered Prayers…..Bryan is home!
Andrea says
Beautifully stated! Happy anniversary to you! A happy marriage is one of the best gifts that you can give to your children.
I know that after a year of deployment, I felt triumphant. I knew there were days that I didn’t feel success-and my children were sad or frustrated…but at least we survived.
After reading your post, I was reminded that I need to rethink my strategy. I need to not let the little things get to me. Those are wearing me down, if I let them.
Tomorrow is another day, right?? 🙂
Jordan Carroll says
Oh, Monica. This one made me cry! I am so blessed to know you and to call you friend. I know I wasn’t here for long, but from what I saw you are an amazingly strong woman and a super mom! We all could learn a thing or two from you! You are a wonderful example of what an Army wife and mom should be…and whatever your strategy is, it’s definitely working!