Naptime has become a real struggle around here lately. This is the time of the day that I look forward to with much anticipation. Naptime gives me a chance to catch up on housework and regroup and rejuvenate myself for the rest of the day. Naptime is a time that I have ALL TO MYSELF. But I am learning that as a mother I often have to put my desires aside for the good of my children.
Just this week Will has dropped down to taking just one daytime nap. This change in schedule has come much earlier than I expected. I don’t think the girls made the switch to one nap until they were about 16 months old. But he is doing EVERYTHING earlier than they did. For a week he has not gone down well for his morning nap. I could tell that he would be fine playing through it and going down a bit earlier for his afternoon nap. It has really worked out well…it was time.
The real problem has been with EA. She hasn’t been napping AT ALL for several weeks. And I have been desperately fighting against this and trying to find a way to be flexible with her and still having some “ME” time.
My first solution was to keep putting her back in the bed when she gets out and “forcing” her to nap, but that was met with lots and lots of resistance. I mean there was actual WEEPING AND GNASHING OF TEETH!
My next course of action was to tell her to just have quiet time in her room. The problem was that she shares a room with her twin sister and QUIET play time didn’t last very long and she was waking MC up from her naps.
So….off to plan C….I started letting MC nap in my room on my bed. This has been a real privilege for her! And giving EA “quiet time” in her room with the gate up at the door to keep her in the room. The problem has been that she still doesn’t stay quiet for long and is soon calling out and being loud and quite unpleasant.
I was venting about this to Keith over the phone today and he was able to listen, encourage, support, and offer advice to me from many miles away. The thing he said that really struck home was that she may be in need of some one-on-one time with me. She is a very emotional girl and when her emotional needs are not being met, it shows in her actions. He suggested that after I put MC and Will down for their naps that I spend some special time with EA in her room reading to her and loving on her.
The wisdom and rightness of his advice struck home when I was getting the girls ready for their naps. EA began protesting, “I not tired…I no want a nap!!” And then she said, “Mommy, I want to lay down on you!” Wow…you would have thought that she overheard our conversation! She didn’t…God’s timing is just perfect.
After MC was down for her nap, I went in to the room with EA and sat on her bed. She laid her head down in my lap and I gave her pats, hugs, kisses, and back rubs. I read her “Guess How Much I Love You” and continued to hold her.
As I held her she began to fall asleep in my arms.
She slept.
I cried.
Yes, I love my time. I don’t get a lot of it. But I pray that I remember that my children’s need for love and affection is more important than my selfish desire to have time to myself. The precious time I spent with EA today is worth more than any amount of time I can ever spend cleaning my house, talking on the phone, scrapbooking, watching TV, or anything else I would have done during Naptime.
Janete says
this made me cry as i read it! it reminded me of the fact that i needed to put my children’s needs first, even when i so want some ME time!! thank you for sharing this, it was a heartfelt reminder to me!
LifeatTheCircus says
I hear you on wanting that me time. Isn’t it great when our husbands can offer the much needed perspective we lack? I applaud you for sacrificing that time to be the Mommy your girl needed. And thanks for sharing, I was convicted of my need to sometimes sacrifice my agenda.
Pat says
I think it is great that you were willing to listen to Keith’s suggestion without seeing it as criticism. Sometimes when I’m tired I react to my hubby’s suggestions as if it pointing out my deficiencies instead of an offer of help. It says a lot that you were willing to try this too to see if this met her needs. You are a wonderful mom!
Linda at 2nd Cup says
Thanks for commenting about the contacts. I can’t believe I did that. Anyway, you seem like a very wise mom. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts.
Jessica says
Very touching cried as I read it. Glad that my neices and nephew have such a loving mom.