Being the wife of a deployed soldier is hard.
I will say that again.
Being the wife of a deployed soldier is HARD!
I don’t often dwell on this, in my daily life or here at DailyDwelling. But there are times that it really strikes me.
I have a unique opporunity to communicate that part of my life with you.
I’m not incorporating this into my writing here to gain more sympathy from you. I am so thankful for the support and encouragement you give me so often and would never think of asking for more.
I am incorporating it because there are people that don’t understand what it is like to have a husband deployed for a year or fifteen months at the time…..they just don’t get it. It’s a hard thing to relate to. I get that.
But my husband isn’t just on an extended business trip.
He isn’t traveling for pleasure.
He isn’t living a life of ease and relaxation.
He didn’t choose to leave his family, but he did follow God’s calling to minister to soldiers….soldiers that are deployed.
I don’t like thinking about the possibility of tragedy. Who does?
But there are days when I have to face my fears and face the realities of life. Today was one of those days.
A friend of mine has a toddler and a baby. The baby is going in for an outpatient eye surgery tomorrow and she had to go in to fill out all the pre-op paperwork today. I offered to watch her toddler for her today and tomorrow.
Today when she came in to drop off her toddler she began to give me some very imporant contact information….her cell phone number. Then she said, “On the way over I had a morbid thought and want to give you some other numbers just in case something were to happen to me”. She proceeded to give me information on how to get in touch with her husband, social security numbers, her mom’s name and number in the states, the name of her neighbor that has a spare key, etc.
To some this may sound like an over reaction.
But it made perfect sense to me, a fellow wife of a deployed soldier.
It made sense because I understand her fear of her children being left alone…really alone.
I understand her need to feel like she is in control of something…anything.
I understand her desire to know that her children will always be taken care of…even in the midst of tragedy.
I understand because I have those same fears, needs, and desires.
My biggest fear is that something would happen to me and my children would be left alone, even for a small block of time.
Would they know how to contact someone for help?
Will they be reassured that I love them?
Will their needs be met?
I am blessed in that I have a family member living within a day’s driving distance of us. But most don’t.
You see, when your husband, the father of your children, is away serving his country for twelve or fifteen months at a time, it often feels as if the weight of the world is resting solely on your shoulders. This is especially true when you are living in a foreign country, away from family and away from the comforts and familiarity of life in America.
No, I don’t like thinking about the possibility of tragedy, but the reality of it has to be considered and planned for.
Happy Mama says
((HUGS)) with two brothers serving in the armed services I prayed and prayed that they would have a great chaplain….not enough to go around but after visiting your husband blog you can rest assured he is doing all God has called him to do….at least as humanity allows!!!
Nancy says
I can’t imagine what it must be like for those of you married to ones who are deployed. Sometimes 1 day without my husband to help me seems like too much.
I’m glad you have some good friends over there and that you were able to help out one of them in her time of need!
Blessings!
Stacy Owings says
You are so strong! I can’t imagine what your life is like! How long is his deployment? I have a friend whose husband was deployed to Iraq in the JAG unit for 6 months and she would not talk about her experience. Maybe too painful?
LifeatTheCircus says
You are right that I have no idea the thoughts, fears, every day circumstances you face. Thanks for letting us see into your world a little more.
I am glad you have found a network of supportive friends with whom you can lean on each other.
Joy says
Thank you for sharing. I honestly don’t know how you do it. You and your husband are amazing, and I for one are SO grateful for your sacrifice. Thank you and thank your husband for what he does.
Blessings,
Joy
margaret says
Your story makes sense to me. Anybody living overseas (even corporate families) would want to go through the process you described just to do something as simple as leaving their kids with a sitter to attend a corporate function or go out on a date. In the States, the strands of your network are in closer proximity, so it’s not necessary to be as detailed. I suspect that even families stationed at bases in the US make similar information exchanges if they go out now. The only thing in the civillian world that comes close must be being the child-rearing wife of a heavy-travelling global evangelist.
Megan says
Monica,
Just wanted to let you know that I have been praying for your family since discovering your blog a few weeks ago.
Thank you for the sacrifice your family is making for our country.
Minister Mamie L. Pack says
Monica,
As a military wife, I totally understand what you are sharing. I counted and prayed constantly each day that he was gone. I would look forward to the emails and those blessed phone calls that were able to come here and there. Being a military spouse is very different and a calling all by itself. My husband enjoys being in the military and I support him 100%, but it truly is a family effort that has unique challenges. Continue to be encouraged.
with blessings,
Minister Mamie