Thank you so much for your prayers and words of support and comfort during the loss of my Granddaddy.
My granddaddy wasn’t just any granddaddy.
My granddaddy was like a daddy to me.
Not a replacement for my own daddy, but more like in addition to.
I grew up living right next door to my grandparents.
My granddaddy was an integral part of my life.
I have so many memories of time spent with my Granddaddy.
I remember sitting in his lap, spending nights and weekends at his house, watching television with him and my grandmamma. I remember laughing at his jokes and shaking my head at our differences of opinions. I remember going to church with him and my grandmamma. I remember saying goodbye to him every time I left after a visit.
I remember my sister and I spending Sunday afternoons combing through his hair. We used bread ties to “fix it up”. He laid on the cough and let us do horrific things to his salt and pepper gray hair and then paid us a dollar each for doing it.
All week long I heard people tell me that my granddaddy loved me.
And he did.
He loved all this family tremendously.
I know that he loved me and he was very proud of me.
The picture on the bulletin of his funeral service was of him standing by me at my high school graduation. The smile on his face and look of pride was one I don’t want to ever forget.
And while I take comfort in knowing that he loved me…I find myself asking the hard question, “Did he know that I loved him?”
Did I tell him enough?
I don’t think I did.
And for that I am so sorry.
My deepest desire now it to love more…to love beyond.
I want to love beyond anything I have ever loved before.
I want to give beyond anything I have ever given.
I want those around me, my family, my friends, everyone to know that I love and cherish them.
Loving beyond is going to take more work and effort.
It’s going to take everything I have and more.
Loving beyond is going to push me, to take me to a place that I have never been before.
But it is a place that I so desire to go.
Beyond.
This post linked to 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama.
5 Minute Friday is a time to write…just write…no editing, overthinking, or backtracking…just write for 5 Minutes from the heart.
The topic this week was Beyond.
Shanna says
This is just beautiful, Monica.
Coley says
Beautiful words, Monica, just beautiful. (And I’m sure your Granddaddy knew!)
Jessica Jennings says
Monica,
That was beautiful because I have been feeling the same way. Wish i would have told him more often how much I loved him, but I do believe he knew we loved him.
Love you,
Jessica
Sheila says
Monica,Thank you, daddy loved you so much,and he was proud of you!!!
Jennifer @ GDWJ says
GASP! That image of you messing with your grandfather’s hair brought back a memory of my brother and I doing the same thing to Grandpa Taylor’s hair. I hadn’t thought about that in a very long time. Sigh … Just living in that fun memory again today. Thank you for that.