Today is Veteran’s Day and as such, I am thinking of an aspect of my life that I don’t write about often enough.
I am an Army wife.
My husband serves as a chaplain in the United States Army.
We have been through three difficult moves.
We have survived two long deployments.
We have lived overseas with three small children.
Today I am reminded that I am the wife of a Veteran.
The life of the Army family is both rewarding and extremely difficult at the same time.
One comment that I hear all too often from people outside the military to Army (or other military) spouses when they are expressing their angst over the difficulties we face is, “Well, it is the life you chose.”
I don’t think those that make this comment realize how offensive and flippant it can sound to its recipient.
Yes, it is the life we chose.
It is the life we chose, in choosing to fall in love and marry our husbands.
It is the life we chose in choosing to go where our Soldier goes.
It is the life I chose in choosing to support my husband in his calling to minister to soldiers and their families.
But in no way could I or any other Army spouse have foreseen the difficulties that came along with that choice.
In the same way that you may have chosen to marry your sweetheart in whatever profession he is in.
In the same way that you may have chosen to have children and stay home taking care of them.
In the same way that you may have chosen to continue working after having your children.
Each of those situations come with difficulties. Difficulties that are not responded to with the same “just deal with it” response that is often handed out to military families.
So, what do we, as military families, who have chosen this rewarding, but very difficult life want?
I think the biggest desire that we have is for a listening ear, for empathy, and for encouragement.
It’s really just what we all desire during the difficult times in our life.
The relationships that I built through blogging during my husband’s last deployment were a huge encouragement to me. I specifically remember Crystal at Life at the Circus and Erin at Closing Time who reached out and connected with me. The words they offered through blog comments of support and encouragement during that difficult time blessed me more than they will ever know.
My friend Ann at Househol6Diva has created a Military Spouse Blogging Community in an effort to build community. Not just community between military spouses, but also between civilians and military families.
I would encourage you to visit some of the Military Spouse blogs that she has listed and reach out to a spouse that has chosen to support her husband as he serves our country.
Ann Marie @ Household6Diva says
My dear friend,
You are an inspiration to me.
I am so blessed by your friendship, your faith, and your family.
Thank you for being one of my Deployment Survival Sisters.
Thank you for encouraging me during hard times.
And laughing with me through harder ones.
Thank you for sharing the Military Spouse Blogging Community with your readers. I hope that by creating an opportunity for these families to connect, we can replace the lack of understanding with an outpouring of support and encouragement.
Warmly,
Ann Marie
-HH6Diva out 😉
Mandy says
Very well written, Monica, and so very true! Though we have been military for ten years now, and have lived through 3 overseas deployments, we are still adjusting to being relocated (as a family) last year for an active duty slot. It’s tough. Not an easy road for sure. But we are a family. We are a military family. And encouragement, empathy, and compassion are mostly definitely what we need more than anything!
Stacy says
Thank you for your service to our country! I never knew you were a Military family!
Also- I have to mention that your hair is gorgeous in this picture! You are so beautiful!
Jessica says
Thank-you for sharing & thank-you for your service to our country! I can only imagine the difficulties- so I am thankful to know of some ways to be an encouragement!
Nancy M. says
I think we forget too often the struggles the rest of the family goes through. Thank you and your family!
Maggie Mae says
Thank YOU Monica, and your children… and, of course, your husband. For the service he gives to protect me and my children from danger and to guard our freedom as Americans. I wish you a million more “thank yous” and sincere appreciation from those you encounter. The sad thing is, those people don’t realize that their freedom of thought and speech are protected by the likes of your husband and your family.
Dee says
Here! Here! I’m always frustrated with the comment “you chose that life…” Grrr…
You’ve got my sympathy and a listening ear anytime. Thanks for the honest post and encouraging people to remember the families and those who serve.
Take care!
Dee