Just this week I was having a conversation with my husband about wishing I were more ordinary.
It seems that because of my convictions I am different in almost every situation I’m in.
I am a Christian, choosing Christ and striving to live my life in obedience to Him.
I am a stay-at-home mom.
I place high priority on being a helper to my husband, seeking to submit, honor, and respect.
I am a homemaker, working on being busy in my home.
I am a homeschooling mom, choosing to keep them at home for their education and investing my time in their growth.
I am a chaplain’s wife who is finding a place of acceptance and spiritual nourishment in my local church.
Each of those choices puts me in opposition to something else.
To the norm.
To the ordinary.
They’re "extra”ordinary choices, going against the grain.
Now, I’m in now way saying this to build myself up or to say that the choices I’ve made are any better than yours. They’re not. But they are mine. They are based on my convictions and my calling.
Yet, sometimes being different leaves me lonely and yearning for acceptance.
Sometimes I just want to fit in…be like everybody else.
Sometimes I just want to lay aside my convictions and blend in with the crowd.
But I can’t.
As much as I want to be “ordinary”, God has called me to be different and I cannot deny my calling.
Just as He has called each of you to be different with the convictions He has given you.
It is a calling that simply cannot be denied.
As I lament and fight waves of loneliness, I realize that this is a fight that we all must battle.
We all must choose to be “extra”ordinary in following Christ and living our lives for Him, however they may play out.
This post is being linked to Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama where we write, unedited, for five minutes.
I enjoy this time of free writing as it pushes me to reveal my heart to you.
Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my heart during these precious minutes!
Dee says
Aww… HUG to you! I feel it with you. I don’t have entirely the same situation as you (not a chaplain’s wife), but the loneliness is there and a definite lack of “fitting the mold”. Sometimes it’s overly frustrating, isn’t it? I have never thought about it all being because of my convictions. That’s a revelation for me and probably the main reason. Here I just always figured I was the odd duck in the group for no reason. :\
I think I’d rather be odd because of something than just because I’m odd. Hehehe…
Take care!
Dee
Jessica Hanson says
Funny how Christians often feel like the square peg in a round hole……I think that I blog about my faith so much because it is easier in words than in person….I fumble through speaking about the Jesus that I long to be like, but I can write about him easily……I wonder why that is?
Thanks for the reminder that I need to work on being more “extra” ordinary!
Hope you’re having a great Friday!
Jessica