I didn’t want to end the day without wishing everyone a Happy Mother’s Day.
My day has been reflective, melancholy, and filled with many mixed emotions.
I want to thank my own mom for all that she did and continues to do for me. I know it wasn’t an easy road, being a young mom. I also don’t think I was the easiest child, especially as a teenager. Now that I have three children of my own, I am truly grateful! And I am so thankful for her prayers and encouragement. I would give anything to be able to be with her and the rest of my family today. It hurts to be so far apart, especially on special days, and I miss them so much!
I am praying that this is the last special day that I will spent seperated from my husband for a long, long time. Hopefully, he’ll be home to celebrate Will’s second birthday that is coming up soon.
My morning was spent watching my children play. They played house, babies, legos, kitchen, and doctor all whithin a very short time frame. Watching the three of them play together is one of my all-time favorite activities.
I really wanted to write more about my experience with becoming a mom, but words have been failing me. I didn’t come into motherhood in the “ideal” situation.
My girls were born premature, very premature, and Keith had to move away to Ft. Campbell, preparing for his first deployment, before they were even released from the hospital. I spent a few months living with Keith’s parents before I moved back into our apartment with my twin girls.
I loved those two babies more than words could ever express. I spent hours sitting by them in the NICU and praying for them, but they didn’t feel like they were mine. I am so grateful for the competent NICU nurses and doctors. And I will be forever grateful to Keith’s parents for helping so much in those early days when they came home from the hospital. But I didn’t feel like a mom until I was on my own with them, taking care of all of their needs day in an day out. I was insecure about my abilities until I was able to do it myself. Until I was able to be their mom, to take care of them, without having to depend on anyone else.
This year for Mother’s Day, Keith sent a gold necklace with three hearts…a symbol of each of our three children. He called and I opened it over the phone. I cried as he thanked me for taking good care of our three little ones during this deployment. It was then that I realized that I have survived this….there have been many, many hard days, and I have made many, many mistakes. But through it all God has been by my side. He has enabled me to take care of EA, MC, and Will, to love them, to discipline them, and to disciple them. I have survived, but it has not been on my own. God has been my source of strenth and I COULD NOT have done it in my own strength.
Today I have struggled with fighting tears as I am so tired at the end of this long deployment.
But I have also allowed laughter to escape from the depths of my heart as I have marveled at the wonders of God in these three precious gifts that he has given to me.
I treasure them just as I treasure this wonderful opportunity to be called “Mommy”.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Nancy M. says
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Nancy M.’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day!
Stephanie says
I cannot tell you how excited I am for you that this deployment is drawing to a close. I have drawn inspitation from you on so many occassions. One of my mantras comes from you – patience, move to their level, look them in the eyes, patience. You are a very strong woman, and an incredible mother. I pray that your family is not separated again for a long time!
Stephanie’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day
Linda@cookingtipoftheday says
Happy Mother’s Day!
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