This morning…this day…got off to a rocky start.
I am learning that I do need Him every hour.
Every minute.
Every second.
Every moment of my day.
My day started out so well. I was up early to enjoy some quiet while reading His word and sipping on coffee.
It didn’t take long for the feelings of disappointment {in myself} began to crowd my thoughts.
Then the children began to awake.
And crowd.
And talk.
And argue.
And whine.
And demand.
I grabbed my notebook filled with blessings and added one word…#143 “choices”.
I had to make some choices.
I could choose how I would respond to my day.
I could choose bitterness, frustration, anger, cluttered thoughts.
or
I could choose peace, contentment, joy, and a clear mind.
I could choose to respond with quick, harsh, impatient words.
or
I could choose to take a deep breath, put a smile on my face and allow pleasant, patient words exit my mouth.
I could choose eucharisto.
I began preparing breakfast for everyone and cleaning the kitchen…messy dishes and all.
I sat down to have breakfast with my husband.
I opened the tube of toothpaste for my three year old.
I smiled as he went upstairs to brush his teeth…on his own.
And then I heard it…a splash of water…his loud calling, “MOMMY!!! I need you!”
I ran upstairs to see a sink overflowing with water.
All. over. the floor.
I called for my husband.
How would I respond?
I had a choice.
I chose laughter. {good choice}
And thus began the cleaning.
I threw towels down on the bathroom floor, filled baskets with clothes from the dryer, moved wet clothes from the dryer, mopped up the bathroom floor, took wet towels to the washer, and changed the three year old.
And then it started again.
The anger, frustration, bitterness, and clutter began to seep into my thoughts, into my mind all over again.
I was defeated.
It wasn’t even nine o’clock and I was tired of it all.
I wanted to lock myself in a closet for the rest of the day, to escape my own reality. To avoid my coming failures.
Then I received the words of a friend, “remember, every minute you can start anew. Those are your words.”
Yes, those are my words.
That is His promise.
I can choose all over again.
Over and over and over.
And that’s what I did.
I put the baby down for a nap.
Allowed the children to watch some shows.
And I went to Him in prayer…asking, seeking, and knocking.
I cannot do this. I cannot survive these days without Him, without coming to Him with outstretched arms, admitting my need, my desperate need, for Him, His presence, His guidance, His forgiveness, His mercy, His grace.
Him.
It is because of Him that I can choose Eucharisto today.
And as I do, I am remembering this list that I have.
I am thanking him today for…
131. brother and sister dancing in the kitchen
132. being surprised by empty laundry baskets…the laundry put away by my girls
133. dancing with my boy, “I’m the prince and you’re the princess, Mommy”
134. three little ones coloring at the dining room table
135. girls working together to memorize AWANA verses
136. Will teaching Jenny to play hide & seek
137. celebrating mornings (yes multiple!) of dry pull-ups
139. my girls using “big words” in their conversations, “you’re certainly right, Will”
140. spreading a blanket out, having a picnic on the kitchen floor
141. big brother protecting baby sister
142. a neighbor to come over and play
143. choices
144. girls sitting at their desks, waiting on “mommy” to begin school
Suzanne says
We do need Him every moment! I’m finding myself more focused on praying continually throughout the day. Every moment is an opportunity to make a choice to trust in Him, to respond like His son and bless our children through our example!
Annie says
I so needed this message! Satan has been on the attack and discouraging me everytime I choose not to be like Christ. Satan is good at taking us down lower when we are already falling. Thank you for this message and sharing so honestly!
Erin @ Closing Time says
This is such an encouraging post to me. When I’m tired and the day isn’t going well, it’s easy to make the wrong choice. It is so worth it to make the conscious effort to choose rightly in those moments!
Barbie says
I am so thankful I found your blog. Thank you for this beautiful post. I am going to remember today that I get t choose how I will react to things that threaten to throw me off balance.
Nicole says
I am blessed by your openess and willingness to share your learning with us, in the choices. It is is the choices that I have learned I can wound or grow my children, I can self doubt and hate myself or learn to love what Christ loves in me – my willingness to get up and follow Him in this moment, hour, this day. I do pray the rest of your day bring easier choices. Blessings!
Jennifer Scruggs says
Is this ever a lesson God has given me MANY opportunites to learn in this season!!! Replace the preschool antics with leaking catheters and adult diapers and you have my day today.
SO THANKFUL that God’s grace is always sufficient for the moment– when I CHOOSE to seek it instead of wallowing or “showing out”!!!
I am really enjoying the song on Christian radio right now (I am horrible with artist names, or I’d list it) but the title is “This is the Stuff”– words that I sing over and over to myself:
This is the stuff, that drives me crazy. This is the stuff that’s getting to me lately. In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I’m blessed. This is the stuff that gets under my skin, I’ve gotta trust that you know exactly what you’re doing. This may not be what I would choose but this is the stuff You’ll use– to rid me of impatience, conquer my frustration, I’ve got a new appreciation—it’s not the end of the world.”
This is a new theme song of mine— maybe you can put it on your ipod to play when you need a reminder about those “choices”. 🙂 Music is SUCH a powerful balm for my soul right now!!!
So was this post.
I love your GUTS—– Jenn
Audra says
I needed to read this today. I have struggled a lot lately with feelings of failure. Feeling like I don’t measure up in God’s eyes. Of course, without Christ, I don’t. Just because I FEEL far from God doesn’t mean that He is not there. Why I shy away and plod along on my own without crying out to Him befuddles me. Thank you for the reminder to get over myself and CHOOSE to pray – at all times!
Cora says
#133. Sounds to me that would just change everything!!!! You know, everyone here has said they needed this, and so did I. I’m here on Wednesday, and I needed it Monday, Tuesday, AND today! The title to your post says it all, “I need thee EVERY hour!” I’m feeling it this week. Maybe it’s just a testing as to how long I will keep my list going. Things just happen, get in the way, and the gifts of gratitude aren’t as visible as they were last week. But yes, I have a choice: I can listen to that beautiful bird outside my window, or I can listen to my crabby, irritated thoughts. After reading this, I choose. . . . bird!!!! And I’ll sing your song the rest of the day until I get it right! Thank you so much!!!!
JDaniel4's Mom says
This is what I needed to read today.