This weekend I spoke up in a conversation about how I believe that one of the secrets (maybe THE secret) to contentment is in identifying the season of life that you are in and learning to accept and embrace that season.
With all of its blessings and limitations.
Then Monday morning my husband called and we had a conversation about this week’s activities and the need to cut back on some things.
For the sake of our children’s well-being.
And for the sake of our own sanity.
I found it hard to do this at first.
And then I remembered the weekend’s conversation and realized that I had to take my own advice.
I’m in a season of life where I am at home with four small children, one of them being a newborn.
This season has so many blessings…
watching my children grow, learn, and play together.
the quietness of a relaxed home.
But this season also has many limitations…
early bedtimes.
the need for limited activities.
This week our chapel on post is having Vacation Bible School. It is being held at night from 6-8:30 pm. We live about 30 minutes from post, so we wouldn’t get home until 9 at the earliest.
Our children have a bedtime of 7 pm.
This early bedtime keeps us sane.
It keeps my children rested and happy.
I struggled with the decision of taking the kids to VBS because I felt like we *should* and dealing with tiredness, crankiness and the ensuing discipline issues throughout the week against the need to say “no†for the sake of our family.
In the end, I realized the season that we are in and chose to take my own advice in accepting and embracing this season by saying no to something good in order to maintain a peaceful home.
Doing the right thing even when I know it is the right thing isn’t easy for me mostly because I worry about what others think about me.
Do they think I’m coping out?
Do they think I’m too strict with our “routine�
Do they think I’m a bad mother, wife, or friend?
Do they think I’m a terrible Christian?
In spite of all of these worries, I have to do what is right for my family, for my children, for my husband, and for myself.
Even if that means doing something unconventional that may invite criticism.
Have you ever had to make hard decisions for your family because of the season that you’re in and it’s limitations?
Jennifer Woodruff says
Monica,
I can really relate to this post! I have often felt the same way, especially since adding the 4th child, and I too have worried what people think! As a matter of fact I said “no” to so much when we first got here, that now I feel a little ostercized! I think people have stopped trying to include me since I said “no” so much which is a little sad. It’s hard for some to understand what it’s like to have a big family! But, now that my youngest is finally done breastfeeding and finally on a good schedule and sleeping well, maybe I can add some activities?! You are not alone! And I think in the long-run you are
making the right decision ;0)
Michelle says
When our children were little, we did everything much the same way. I was a stickler for early bedtimes and consistent nap times and anything that interfered with either one of those things was just not done unless it was an absolute must!
There are so many special blessings that come when our children are little! The more simple your life is, the more of them you will be able to enjoy!
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Embracing Serendipity =-.
Suzanne says
I can’t agree more. We have really tried to take a step back with each activity and asked ourselves if we’re doing it because it works for our family or because we feel obligated as a Pastor Family to do it. We are currently not attending AWANA because it’s one of Duncan’s only evenings home – it’s been a tough decision – but our family’s health is more important!
Thanks for sharing.
.-= Suzanne´s last blog ..Seattle – June 2010 =-.
Kelly Malloy says
We have had to make many of the same types of decisions. We are just starting to be able to participate in all of those things that we “should” because our youngest is now 4. Just do what is best for your family and don’t worry about what other people think.
Following from Hip Homeschool Hop!
Pat says
I think you are doing the right thing by putting your family first. If these people are going to criticize you for not doing what is best for your family, then these are the same people who would criticize you if your children are cranky at night and start acting up. I’m proud of you for taking the hard road. (Applause!)
.-= Pat´s last blog ..Buddy Zooka- In the French Quarter And Beyond – A Book Review =-.
Erin @ Closing Time says
We have definitely encountered this as well. Our girls have a 7:00 bedtime, and it is truly the best thing for them. There are often evening activities that we have to skip because of this. I have struggled with similar feelings to the ones you expressed, and many people around us don’t understand because their children stay up much later. However, we have seen such a huge difference in behavior when our girls go to bed early. Sometimes doing what is best for the family my not be understood, but it is still the right thing to do!
.-= Erin @ Closing Time´s last blog ..The Perfect Planner for a Girl Like Me =-.
Faith says
Wow! We have dealt with this just lately. We moved in October and our new Church has Sunday Night services at 7:00! I just couldn’t see that! Our kids would be INSANE by the time it was over. I am a BIG proponent of the “seasons” of life… you do the best you can for where you are, and enjoy that time… thanks SO much for posting:)
.-= Faith´s last blog ..The Everyday Struggles =-.
Stephanie says
It is nice to hear that other mothers have the same struggles, and doubts that I do. It is not nice to have the struggles though. Our VBS (at night) fell 2 weeks before school started. We were both dedicated to adjusting the girls’ routine back to an earlier bedtime, and earlier wake-up to ease thetransition to school days. I felt guilty that we chose to keep them out of VBS. I often struggle with what people think of our parenting decisions – are we too strict? Should I let the girls watch that show? Am I doing enough with them for their academics? And so on. Like you I finally came to the realization that We have to do what we feel is right for our family. Amazing what that deos to my stress level! I hope you are feeling more settled too.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Finding the right motivation =-.