I thought by signing the girls up for Bowlopolis, we would avoid the competitiveness of team sports. I mean, how competitive can four-year-old bowling be?
I thought I would not come in contact with “sport parents” who are sterotyped as overbearing and demanding.
I was wrong.
Last week I told you all about how the coach asked me to help the girls roll the ball because they couldn’t get it down the lane on their own. Poor EA can barely lift it and carry it to the lane.
Well, last night, another parent became extremely offended because I was helping them.
Apparently the top scorers get a trophy at the end. I didn’t even know that.
She approached me to tell me this and I said it was okay, we were just there to have fun and had plans to just ignore her.
Well….that was the wrong thing to do because she began yelling at us the next time I helped one of the girls that we were cheating.
I had to actually get help from the coach so she would leave us alone.
I wanted to cry and was tempted to just leave.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t want to discourage the girls from having fun and enjoying a game.
I had such a good time last week just spending time with them and focusing on them.
That’s all I wanted to do.
We were just there to have fun.
That’s it.
I still cannot comprehend the desire to be so competitive in child sports…..in bowling of all things.
Why do we put so much pressure on our children? Or even ourselves?
What benefit does it serve?
I believe it is our job as parents to love, encourage, and support our children in whatever we are doing. But we must resist the temptation to pressure them for our own selfish purposes.
In some ways, I just want to scoop up my innocent little girls from a world that doesn’t always encourage, love and support.
But I cannot hide them away from the realities of life. I can continue on with a good attitude, purposing to enjoy our time together and have fun with them despite the distractions that we may be faced with.
Boy, this parenting gig isn’t easy, is it?
I’m convinced that it doesn’t get easier, it just changes as time moves on.
There are constant pressures, struggles, decisions, and demands that cannot be managed without trusting in and depending on the Lord’s strength.
Stephanie says
Oh, Monica. I am so very sorry that you had that experience. I hope you know that you are giving your girls the RIGHT experience. That poor misguided mother! Your girls will learn the right lesson – that the time spent together doing something fun is the real reward. In 10 years, noone will remember what the trophy was for, but they will have lasting memories of spending the time with you, playing and laughing. I hope the bowling does not become a chore thanks to people like this mom. It sounds like such a great activity.
Stephanie’s last blog post..
Shanna says
I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m so glad that you stuck it out. That mother had no right to steal your joy and precious time with your children. And she did not succeed. Good for you in protecting the girls from the “too-soon” world of competitiveness. It’s so tempting to place our kids in a cocoon and keep them safe, but sometimes the best thing to do is what you did and stand up and set an example.
LifeAtTheCircus says
Wow! I can not even imagine. If I had been yelled at like that I am sure I would have cried. Good for you, for sticking up for yourself and your girls! I am impressed!
I really think people like that are using their kids as their trophies. My guess is they didn’t get the support and encouragement they needed and now need it from their children success. If only, they could find their fulfillment and worth from their heavenly father, I am sure it would change things. Continue to shine your light and stand strong for your girls. You are doing a fabulous job!
LifeAtTheCircus’s last blog post..We’re Ruining Her
Sarah says
geez – that poor woman needs help. And nothing for a 4 year old should be competitive – why on earth do they have a trophy. I keep thinking back to potty training and how mine didn’t need a reward because they were so excited in their own accomplishments.
I dislike competitive parents – I want my kids to do sports to improve their health and well being. They are competitive enough with each other without another the way it is.
homegrownstrawberries says
Wow I mean really WOW!
Do you go up to someone who is getting help from a store employee and yell at them for “cheating” because they might finish shopping first and get in line ahead of you? That is ridicules to get so upset at someone helping there preschooler.
Its not like her child will prize that trophy should they win it I have old sports trophies from my childhood in a box somewhere. The need to “win” frequently loses us a lot.
homegrownstrawberries’s last blog post..We have them!
Nancy M. says
I can’t believe that a parent of 4 year olds would act that way. That is just so wrong! You were just trying to help, now win something. It seems like if it’s not a competition, either there should be no trophies, or everyone should get one.
I am so glad my son isn’t interested in sports, I don’t know if I would take it as good as you.
Nancy M.’s last blog post..The Garden is Planted
Pat says
What an amazing story! It is unbelievable how some adults act! I remember years ago when I was cheerleader coach at a high school and many of my girls were in the high school popularity awards contest. I had two mothers about to get in a fist fight on my door step and I had to threaten to call the police before they would leave. They thought I knew who won and wanted me to tell them (I didn’t know though). Of course this could be a great lesson for your children to learn: explaining that some parents go overboard but you will not, how some parents think winning is the most important thing but you think trying is more important, how to handle situations like this by modeling appropriate behavior etc. You are a great mother!
Pat’s last blog post..Carnival of Education 4/22/09
Luke Holzmann says
I’m also guessing parenting doesn’t get any easier.
Thankfully, we get started on the less serious (extreme bowling parents) and only later move onto the more serious and life altering bits. Hang in there. You’re doing great!
~Luke