Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6
The following question was posed today at the Internet Cafe Chat:
So today, I ask you to share a time when a friend may have wounded you by speaking hard words to you, and even though you were hurt you realized it was the best and most loving thing he/she could have done.
I’m going to take you back to my college days to answer this question.
When I was in college I attended and eventually joined a local church, First Baptist North Spartanburg. It is an amazing church that I still claim as my home church. In fact, it is where Keith and I met.
While there, I attended the College Sunday School class. I looked up to my Sunday School teacher, Kathryn, so much and we became friends.
She is the type of person that uses scarcastic humor a lot. And she was never afraid to speak out or call sin exactly what it is….sin.
One sin that I easily fall prey to is telling “white lies”. I think it becomes easier to do this when you’re a people pleaser. I would often rather tell a “small” lie than hurt someone’s feelings, offend, or disappoint.
One morning she called me rather early. I don’t remember the exact time, but I do remember that I answered the phone in a half-asleep state. I’m sure she could tell from my voice that I wasn’t completely coherent.
She asked me if she woke me up and rather than tell her the truth that she had, I told a bold face lie and said, “No, you didn’t”
Well, in true form, she called me out on that lie.
She said that she knew she did and I could just tell her so rather than lying.
It sounded rather harsh at the time, but she was completely right.
No matter how small a lie it, it’s still a lie. And the last time I checked, lying is a sin.
Even to this day, I am more aware of telling the truth when someone asks a question such as “Did I wake you?” or “What are you doing?”
Instead of lying, “Oh, no. I was awake.” or “Oh, nothing.”, I make an effort to tell the truth in these situations.
Actually, because of that experience I make a better effort to tell the truth in all situations where I am tempted to lie to avoid hurting, offending, or disappointing someone else.
But it does take effort, because that temptation to be a people pleaser is strong!
Suzanne says
I struggle with being a people-pleaser as well – so, over the years I have realized being truthful in this is very important. It’s better for me to say “I’ll have to think about it and get back to you” then to make up an excuse/lie for why I can’t do something. Fun stuff, eh?!
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toknowhim says
Thanks for sharing today…Oh, it is so easy to tell those “white lies”, but like you said it really is jusy out right lying… Thanks for sharing today 🙂 Blessings
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Denise says
Thanks for sharing.
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David says
This is a tough one. I really do want to know the truth — as long it doesnt hurt me.
Just being honest. But if I am ever to grow, i need to be open to the ‘gentle rebuke.’
http://www.redletterbelievers.com
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